An Open Letter to Joe Le - May You Continue to Rest in Peace

Joe,

It's been 2 years today since you left us.  So much has happened in these two years.  Firstly, I hope you're proud of what your SAR team has done in your honor.  Your sister has been doing one hell of a job keeping it alive - keeping you alive, in our hearts.

I hadn't written to you in a long while, and I apologize.  I never forgot you though.  You taught me to "shut up and live," and to find a reason to smile, each and every day.

In the past year, plenty has happened.  I got accepted to CSUF, majoring in Criminal Justice.  I'd always wondered what it would be like to go to school with you again, since we went our separate ways after high school graduation.

The SAR team helped out with Hurricane Sandy in December 2012.  That was an amazing experience and I'm really glad that I got to be a part of it.  I'll never forget the gratitude shown by the lovely couple at the first house that we helped to rebuild - to have a group of strangers from across the county come to help rebuild their home after such an incident... your SAR team was a blessing to them.  I can still remember how happy the older lady was that I had saved a piece of the wall mural that she was working on - I didn't have the heart to take it down and fought to preserve that memory for her.  It was a family tree that she was painting on the wall in the back room.

Remember back in middle school and part of high school when you were my mediator?  haha Well, I did finally, truly fall in love this year.  Shortly after, I also went through my first heart break.  I know you'd have been there to get me through it all, just as you always had.  I'm glad that when you left us though, that you were experiencing the feeling of love with your girlfriend - it's a wonderful feeling, isn't it?  Every time I go to Huntington Park and see those benches... they remind me of you and your love for your girlfriend.  You tried to keep it a secret, but I was told that that painting you did of those benches... that was where you told your girlfriend you loved her.

Remember our last meeting the weekend before you left us?  We were talking about our futures.  While I didn't go the military route nor pharmacy, I did follow my dreams of going into forensics.  I'm on that career path right now, Joe, and I couldn't have been happier with that choice - I look forward to going to work each day.  I wear that badge with pride and am honored that I am able to do so.  I now understand what it feels like to wake up each day and look forward to doing what you love to do.  I wish you could have been doing the same right now, with your graphic arts design work.  Your work was just simply amazing.  I can only imagine all of the neat things you'd have done by now.  Your imagination, creativity, and skills are rivaled by no other.

haha I also remember planning to go out for drinks with you when you turned 21.  Too bad that was 2 months after you left... It would have been nice to grab a drink with you, Joe.  I still can't believe it's been 2 years since I'd last seen and talked to you.  I wish I made our last meeting more memorable somehow.  Then again, I wouldn't have traded that casual Saturday night out for anything - going out for boba and just sitting around, chatting with good company has always been one of my favorite things to do.  So I'm glad that our final moments together was just that.  And it was definitely nice to share it with ABCCDDD.  I think that was the last time that the whole group was actually together.

I take your ideals to heart, buddy.  I'd started a little project called, "Mooshbot Minions," in an effort to spread the love of committing random acts of kindness and paying it forward.  Holy cow... what's it been, like 8 years since I went by Moosh?  In late 2012, I'd also started an ongoing project, making "care bags" for the homeless that we see around town.  To date, I've given away 20-some bags; close to 30, if I counted correctly.  I'd lost track.  Some of my friends have hopped on board with this project as well - we keep the bags in our cars and will give them when we see someone who needs it.  They're filled with small necessities; water, snacks, hygiene items...

I've made some amazing friends on EDCF and USN.  You were never on those forums, as far as I knew, but you did like those sort things.  Maybe you were - I actually never thought about trying to look you up... you always did find out about resources further ahead than myself.  I wish we could have talked gear together.  I think you'd be the only one in our group of friends who would know what I was talking about.  :P  You always liked the most interesting things.  :)  I know you liked the Keyport slide - they came out with a new one recently.  I think you would have loved the Kickstarter program.  I'm sure you would have had some crazy ideas of your own for it too.

Joe, please continue to look after your friends, family, and SAR team.  May you continue to rest in peace.  We'll continue to carry out your love of life from here.  12 years of friendship, and counting.  The "phyre" burns on.

Oktoberfest (061/365)

G.I. Joe SAR held a fundraiser the past month and a half selling tickets to Oktoberfest at Old World.  Tonight, we had a couple tables set up so that people can come and learn about our organization.  It was a nice night together, meeting those who supported us.

I miss Joe.  A lot.  Words can never describe it.  That night, I shared a beer sampler and a bratwurst with him.  :)  Joe, I hope your SAR team has done you proud!

Overall, it was a great night.  I had a lot of fun with the Joes.  The people at Old World sure do know how to host an Oktoberfest.  :P  (Actually, it was my first time at one, so I can't compare.)

One Year

It's been one year since I'd lost my buddy, Joe Le.  I miss him dearly and from yesterday's potluck, clearly all of our friends do too.

As I had written in my journal just recently, though I would love for him to be back here with us, he's also now free.  So it would be a bit selfish of me to want him back just because of my own reasons, right?  But I do miss him a lot.  I also thank him for what he has given me - a new outlook on life.  I won't go into details, but Joe is a freaken genius and that's all there is to it.

GIJ formed on his behalf, based on his simple morals that we should help one another whenever possible and act in such a way that we would be proud of ourselves.  Because of these simplistic ideas, I again have a purpose in life, whereas before this incident occurred, I felt as though I had hit rock bottom.  With GIJ now thriving, I am well on my way of achieving my life goal - being able to bring forth all of my strengths and serve something much larger and greater than myself.

Joe Le, you are missed.  <3

Unfilled Void

It's been six months since Joe Le passed. These past six months have flown by and plenty had happened since. But the pain of not having him around, not seeing him, and not hearing his voice still hurts just as much as the first day of hearing the news, if not more.

The void will never be filled and the pain never lessens as each day passes. Not one bit.

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Retiring the Moleskine

Next month, my first ever Moleskine will be a whole year old.  However it's only been filled about half way through.  But I think it's time for it to be retired. 

It was one of those days again when I have trouble sleeping so a lot is on my mind.  I'd decided to maybe write in my journal, but couldn't come to write in it; the last entry was from after Joe's incident back in April 2011.  Reading the previous entries before that, the year was just filled with a lot of sorrow and anger.

By all means, I think retiring it is the best thing to do and start anew.  After all, our lives are too short for anything other than ensuring each others' happiness.  Smiles all around.  :)

It's just one of those nights...

It's another one of those nights when I lay in bed and can't seem to get to sleep.

There's not even much going on through me mind at this point.  Not even much in terms of ramblings.

Last weekend was our G.I. Joe Search and Rescue benefit concert though.  It was held at Access Group Media in Fountain Valley, CA.  I had a blast hanging out with the crew and meeting new people.  The highlight of the performances were Hinobi and the boys from JustKiddingFilms.  Props to all the performers, though.  I truly appreciate them donating their time for our cause.  During the night, I happened to walk in, bottle of San Pellegrino in hand, when the slideshow played, at which point I couldn't keep the tears from falling.  Joe Le, I miss you dearly.  I hope we've done you proud.  There's more to come and you'll forever stay in our hearts. 

Hey Joe.  :)  Hope you liked the lounge area.